Metamorph : A birthday memoir

I turned a year older 2 days ago.

I had one of the best parties out there yesterday. And it was massive.

This is the first time I have celebrated my birthday away from my home country and if anything it was  the best birthday I have attended (mine or

someone else’s) in a long time. Currently attending the Jasiri Program in Rwanda, my fellow Fellows planned the surprise of a lifetime and It blew my

mind away at how people you have known for a while can become a community and come through for you. How do you get 28 people to agree to pull a

surprise for someone and it still happens without any information leaking out? It still blows my mind.  What amazes me is the fact that half of us come

from Kenya and the other half from Rwanda but all that was overcame in doing this.

With the new age ushering in, nothing much seems different except this overbearing feeling of being conscious on every decision I make.  I feel like a

tailor; I have to measure twice and cut once. At the same time, I am opening to having more experiences I have always shied from and seeing what the

other world offers.

30 seems nearer than it did a year ago and to some extent this race against time is a massive anxiety battle. 10 years ago, I would look at a 26-year-old

and marvel at just how old they are and get bemused why they haven’t figured out things. Now that am here am even wondering what needs to be

figured out first.

Yesterday I was talking to my friend Peace and she unintentionally wittingly pointed out the danger of  a single story. She didn’t know it but that made

me reflect about my story and the impact of its singleness to my approach to the future. To give context, I have spent the better part of my life in

Nairobi (with the exception of 4 intermittent years of school) and I have come to develop this Nairobian mindset of always being aggressive and going

for what you want. The beauty of it is you are lauded (by other Nairobians) of your traits; the demerits are sometime you miss out on the nitty gritty

which are what make life a beauty.

At 26 I feel like I have lived 4 lifetimes and my life at this point is divided into four major themes; humble beginnings, identity crisis, discovery and

pivoting.

Humble beginnings

This period starts around when I was nine years when I officially came to Nairobi (for the second time). I joined school and the experience was

nothing short of surprise for me. From walking 6 km daily to school to classes filled to the brim, it was a constant roller-coaster of emotions and joy

through newly made friendships.

During this period, I learnt on how to live with lean resources and make life comfortable. Though I didn’t know it at the time, this period taught me

resilience through adversity which would later be key in my entrepreneurial ventures.

Identity Crisis

This period was from around the time I was in class 7 in primary school up to my second year in university. I had this overwhelming feeling of being

lost in a minute world. Initially I tried to forget my surrounding through reading all the books I could get my hands on. And read I did. It started by

me voraciously reading up my Mum’s Mill & Boon and progressing to fiction that was more up my age alley. I started collecting books and by the time

I was joining my first year I had grown my library to around 350 books. I also started getting more interested in electronics; tearing things and fixing

them back again. I became so good at it that it formed my first business when I joined first year in campus.

My all-time escape form of expressiveness (up to date) was poetry. Due to my introverted nature coupled with growing up in a macho man

environment, it was a bit hard to express my feelings to anyone and hence poetry offered the best escape. Through it, I could air out my unstructured

thoughts with no fear of judgements or prejudice.

The identity crisis phase was not cataclysmic in nature but rather seeped into me slowly like the banks of an overflowing river

Discovery

This period was the shortest but marked with the most changes and discoveries about new perceptions about life.

First thing I learnt how to be comfortable in a room without withdrawing to my recluse shell. This entailed putting myself in uncomfortable situations

which were normally not my cup of tea.

The highlight of this period was earmarked by finding new ways to tap into my inner self and asking questions on everything happening around me.

Meditation became a constant getaway to solve anxiety issues.

I am still exploring this phase and each and every new day I make discoveries about myself that teach me to be open and resilient to new experiences.

For instance, this year I made a resolve to visit all the National Museums in Kenya to get to learn more about our early culture and how its impacting

our lifestyles. So far I have explored none. But am still open to the idea of doing so.

Pivoting

This is a period I have been in with entrepreneurial activities in the last 5 years. From the different stints of businesses and jobs, I have cultured an

open mind to engage in opportunities that didn’t appeal to me before. Having diversely learnt about several industries through software development

projects, I have been able to get an overview of how most industries work and this helped in my investment journey.

Advice to younger self

8 years ago, the world seemed a hazy place but I was hopeful that I would pursue on life to become a renowned software engineer in the Kenyan space

and make my impact.. 8 years later, this is the last thing in my mind since I have learnt over time I have more to offer the world and I don’t necessarily

need to confine myself to one thing alone.

As I march steadily towards 30, I feel am more younger and renewed to pursue and achieve goals that impact more people than I have collectively met

in my life and also need to work on the overbearing feeling of anxiety and channel as a positive energy.